


"I fell and you left me"

by Perihelions



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Crying, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Stucky - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-29
Updated: 2014-07-29
Packaged: 2018-02-10 22:25:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2042544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Perihelions/pseuds/Perihelions
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve finds Bucky on a wintery night. Bucky is mad that Steve left him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	"I fell and you left me"

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This fanfic is inspired on a gifset I've seen on tumblr, but I didn't save it :( It basically was an AU with Steve and Bucky where Bucky insulted Steve that he never looked for him. Anyway, I think this has been done before, but I still wanted to write it anyway. Those are just one of the many things you do when you can't sleep, you just decide to write some fanfiction.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

After months of searching, Steve still had no clue where Bucky was. Sam had told him that he would stay searching, but the support group gave him an offer he couldn't refuse. Sam was invited to Europe to talk with old war veterans. Steve got the same offer, and he would've gone, if it weren't for the promise he made himself. Sam had excused himself a hundred times, but Steve told him to go, it was a chance of a lifetime.

He had been searching on so many places where he thought his old friend could be, but Bucky was nowhere to be found. It made Steve depressed. He knew his friend was alive, and it had seemed so surreal, even though he had learned before that more than one god exists, and aliens do really attack the world. But he needed Bucky, he needed him as a café needed beer. He needed him as much as he needed his shield. He just did.

He had never expected see him here.

Steve had searched in Brooklyn countless times, but he knew he wouldn't be in the park that was once, many years ago, their apartment. Now and then, Steve found himself there, to make his brains stop whirling in a storm for a while, just as on this one wintery night. He had his hands tucked away in his pockets to keep them warm. A blue scarf was wrapped around his next to prevent him against the cold.

There was no one there, as not many people knew of its existence, even though it lay in one of the busiest cities in the world.

He looked up from the ground, and saw a ghost before his eyes. He stopped immediately, his eyes almost falling out of their sockets.

It was as if he saw Bucky before they left for the war that changed them both so much. He was wearing some smart trousers and a trench coat. He could see that both his metal fist, and the normal one, were clenched. His hair was cut neatly, with less wax than in the forties, his cheeks were clean shaven. It was as if he saw a ghost. The only thing that made the difference were his eyes. Dark circles surrounded them, like an insomniac who couldn’t sleep at night. And he frowned, as if he had a bad headache. But it was still Bucky. _His Bucky._

He didn't really know what to say, he opened his mouth, but closed it again. It was so different from that time where they fought on the road. So different from the fight on the helicarrier. In a way it hurt him more, seeing him like this. It reminded him of the days were things seemed less complicated, even though he had the worst health and even though they barely had the money to get it through the day. He missed it.

Bucky walked up to him, and his heart stopped beating for a few seconds. _His_ Bucky. The brunette stopped when he was about two steps away, and he looked angry.

"Why didn't you look for me?" He spat, his voice filled with hurt and anger. Shivers were sent down Steve's spine. His voice did strange things to him.

"Bucky, I've been looking for you for months," he said patiently, not quite understanding the situation.

"No, you stupid fuck," the other man slinged the words at him furiously, "When I fell!" He could see tears forming in Bucky's eyes, and almost automatically he took a step forward. “I fell and you didn’t even look for me!” He yelled, breathing hard.

 

"Don't come closer!" He shouted furiously, almost losing every bit of common sense. He was on the edge of breaking.

"I fell and you left me." He said in a voice so broken that it made Steve's heart ache.

"You left me...", he repeated. He saw Bucky crumpling to his knees, completely lost.

Nevertheless, Steve came closer, and crouched down.

"Don't you fucking touch me!", Bucky yelled hysterically, tears rolling over his shaven cheeks.

Steve still did what the other man forbid him to do, he wrapped his arms around the fragile man. Instead of kicking and shouting, the brunette leaned into Steve's touch, clasping to his coat with his normal arm.

"You let me go.."

After a long time of crying, Bucky finally calmed down a little bit, his face still buried in Steve's neck. The few people that passed them shot a few weird glances, but they paid no further attention to them.

Steve lifted Bucky's chin with his hand, staring in those watery blue eyes. "If I had known you were alive, I'd have come to look for you. It seemed impossible that you would've survived..."

"But I did, Steve, I did..." His voice still sounded shaky, and he had even more shaky breaths. "It was horrible..."

"I know, Buck, -"

"- no you don't!", the brunette cut him off.

"Yes I do Buck, because we both went through horrible things alone, without each other. We both survived, but without each other. And that's horrible, because I needed you. And you needed me. And If I knew that you were still alive, I would’ve looked for you. I would’ve.”

Steve drew a deep breath. "I was so happy to see you alive, Buck, but it hurt me so much to see you like that. It made me so sad. What they made you do and who you had become. You were just an empty shell. You were gone, you were not Bucky. Not my Bucky."

"But here I am." He said in a small voice. Bucky would never be the same Bucky again. But Steve was far from the sickly, small boy he used to be.

"And here you are." Steve smiled sadly.

He placed a small kiss on the top of Bucky's head, and then one on his cold nose.

"I promise you, Bucky, I'm never letting you go again. I promise you."


End file.
